Top 5: My Greatest Hits Album

Holy crap, this is my 30th post. Since November, I’ve birthed 62,300 words out into the great abyss of the internet. That’s a couple fewer words than The Sun Also Rises; 16k more than ol’ Scotty wrote in The Great Gatsby. While it would be the humble thing to say I write for myself, that... Continue Reading →

How Does one Yeet, exactly?

It’s finally summer, a prize every teacher squints at through the long, dark tunnel of the school year. As I spend my final days decluttering the smoldering trash heap that once resembled a classroom, I find it helpful to reflect on the year and give myself a chance to celebrate my accomplishments and identify areas... Continue Reading →

‘Til Death Part III

Author’s note: This is Part III of a three-part series. For any of this to make sense, it’s best to read Part I and Part II first, unless you’re my friend Scott, who read Part II first and then sent me a bunch of confused texts about how he didn’t remember midgets being there when... Continue Reading →

‘Til Death Part II

Author’s note: This is Part II of a three-part essay. For context, it’s best to read Part I first. Unless you’re into that whole medias res thing; in which case, knock yourself out. THE RECOVERY DAY - Friday, 8 a.m. One of the smartest things Jen did when creating the wedding’s itinerary was to insert... Continue Reading →

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