I love social media because you’re an idiot.
We make our way to the cafeteria on the second floor via elevator, which Nick uses as an opportunity to mess with unsuspecting museum patrons. As the elevator begins to lift us, Nick moves to the front of the car and places his face inches from the steel door. “Watch this,” he says. The door…… Continue Reading →
We capped our final evening at the beach the only way that seemed appropriate: by playing a round of mini golf. I loved playing mini golf as a kid. Once a year, my church youth group would take us to Geno’s Putt Putt on Route 45 in Mantua Township, and my friends and I would…… Continue Reading →
The beach was windy as fuck today. Not that calming sea breeze that wraps you in cool tendrils of beach relaxation, but a land breeze, the one that feels like an underwater hair dryer and brings with it every mosquito, green head, and mutant horsefly within a hundred miles. I drilled my beach umbrella extra…… Continue Reading →
It was my turn to visit the front desk, so at 9:30, I took the elevator down and informed yet another Hawaiian shirt-wearing attendant with facial piercings our room was approximately the temperature of the sun. Our good buddy Donald, the repair man I gave a can of beer to 36 hours earlier, knocked on…… Continue Reading →
We picked up the kids from their pizza party, hoping if we couldn’t enjoy our own vacation, at least we could revel in the enjoyment of our children. That’s a thing that happens when you have kids, I guess. It’s somewhat gratifying to see them having a good time, knowing they’re forging memories they’ll cherish…… Continue Reading →
We gathered our belongings and decamped the pool deck, but not without D almost getting leveled by a 200 lb, 14-year-old fish out of water. In the lobby, we were met with a line so long it belonged at an amusement park. Dozens of guests loaded down with beach chairs and umbrellas snaked from the…… Continue Reading →
Day Three I rose with the sun on day three, one of those happy accidents that occur when you’re well-rested and don’t need the squawk of an alarm clock to get your day started. Melinda and the kids were still just beginning their journey to consciousness, so I took my cup of coffee to a…… Continue Reading →