The Endless Bummer – Part XIII

Author’s note: This is the thirteenth installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, read the introduction, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X, Part XI, and Part XII first. Subsequent installments will post daily. The beach was windy as... Continue Reading →

The Endless Bummer – Part XII

Author’s note: This is the twelfth installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, read the introduction, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, Part X and Part XI first. Subsequent installments will post daily. It was my turn to visit the... Continue Reading →

The Endless Bummer – Part XI

Author’s note: This is the eleventh installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, read the introduction, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX, and Part X first. Subsequent installments will post daily. We picked up the kids from their pizza party,... Continue Reading →

The Endless Bummer – Part IX

Author’s note: This is the ninth installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, read the introduction, Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, and Part VIII first. Subsequent installments will post daily. We gathered our belongings and decamped the pool deck, but not without D... Continue Reading →

The Endless Bummer – Part V

Author’s note: This is the fifth installment of a multi-part series. For an optimal reader experience, read the introduction, Part I, Part II, Part III, and Part IV first. Subsequent installments will post daily. DAY TWO Nothing attracts the best and brightest specimens humanity has to offer like a complimentary continental breakfast. It was here, in the room off the... Continue Reading →

‘Til Death Part II

Author’s note: This is Part II of a three-part essay. For context, it’s best to read Part I first. Unless you’re into that whole medias res thing; in which case, knock yourself out. THE RECOVERY DAY - Friday, 8 a.m. One of the smartest things Jen did when creating the wedding’s itinerary was to insert... Continue Reading →

‘Til Death Part I

Dispatches from a Small Wedding I’m finally at the point in my life where this whole wedding thing is starting to taper off. It was fast and furious there for awhile, an intense and fund-depleting run into my early 30s. It felt like every weekend I’d be driving to Philly or the Eastern Shore in... Continue Reading →

Barking Up the Wrong Tree

ADDENDUM: A day after publishing this story, I was contacted by a commander of the Fairfax County Police Department. The friendly commander, it seems, received a call from a concerned citizen regarding the alleged animal abuse mentioned in my story and was duty-bound to investigate.So, in the interest of quelling all concern, I'm happy to... Continue Reading →

A Shitty Story

This is part of my wife’s Valentine’s Day present. I’ve subjected her to my stories for the last five years, often making her drop whatever she’s doing to hear a new draft. She patiently relents, seeing how excited I am to share my new creation. When I get to a sentence I know contains a... Continue Reading →

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